Acts of Kindness
Prompt: In a quiet town where people have grown distant and withdrawn, a mysterious letter appears in the mailbox of a lonely resident. It simply says, “You are seen. You are needed. Pass it on.” Explore the ripple effect of their own act of kindness.
Entry: “You are seen. You are needed. Pass it on.” The neatly folded note sat open on her dining room table amidst the half packed moving boxes. Liesel wiped her eyes.
She didn’t recognize the handwriting and hadn’t seen anyone walk up to her mailbox, but she’d been busy packing most of the morning. Her late husband, Frank, had passed away more than 6 months ago and it was time to start putting his things into storage.
She’d felt aimless and adrift since his passing. They’d been part of each other’s lives for 43 years. There’s an empty ache that accompanies a loss of that caliber, and not many people in her life seemed to share that hurt, not now that so much time has passed. But she still felt it, and she didn’t expect it to lessen. Truth be told, she didn’t want it to lessen. That constant ache was their love. She could carry that with her as a testament to what they meant to each other.
But she had been struggling. Putting Frank’s clothing and baseball cards away was her first step in making sure that ache didn’t pull her under. She wasn’t sure what her purpose was now. Caring for Frank while he was sick had been her reason for being for the last 3 years. They didn’t have any children and had both retired over a decade ago.
This note seemed to come at precisely the right time. She didn’t know by who, or what they meant by “you are needed,” but she could pass it on. Maybe that was all that was needed of her today.
_____________
Jenna paced outside the coffee shop, clearly arguing with someone on the phone but trying to restrain herself.
“-but you can’t just cancel our contract. We had terms, we agreed to a schedule. I’m supposed to start tomor-” She’s cut off by the person on the line. She listens for a moment and says, “no I understand that but I had to prepay for daycare for those days. I need this job.” She’s on the verge of tears but making an effort to keep her voice steady. She looks up and realizes she’s blocking the coffee shop door. She whispers a hurried, “sorry,” to the old woman patiently waiting and paces further down the sidewalk.
After a moment there’s a heavy sigh and a resigned, “okay. Thank you for your consideration. I appreciate you keeping my contact info. If anything else opens up please let me know.” She hangs up the phone and rakes her fingers through her hair. She sighs, sets her shoulders, and walks back to the shop. She slips inside, waves a thanks to the barista who was keeping an eye on Emma, and sinks into an empty chair at the table where her daughter is studiously bent over her coloring book.
“Hey cutie! What are you working on?” she asks in a bright voice. Emma, only 4, has recently learned that mixing primary colors makes new exciting colors and she’s spent every waking second scribbling with markers since.
“Orange! Look! See, it’s red and yellow!” She points excitedly at the page she’s been doodling on and Jenna smiles at her, brushing her hair behind her ears. “Yes, I see that! You’re such a smart girl. And that’s such a pretty color!” She steels herself and continues, “hey hon, I don’t have to go to work this week. You don’t have to go to daycare if you want to stay home with me. Would you like that?”
Emma’s eyes light up and she claps her hands. “Really?! Can we paint?!” She practically shrieks. Jenna laughs, hugs her and replies, “absolutely we can paint.”
Looking back at Emma’s doodles, she now sees a folded dollar bill with a note paperclipped to it resting on the table.
She unfolds the bill with shaking hands. It’s $100. The note clipped to it says, “You are enough. You’re doing your best. Pass it on.”
_____________
Henry stands looking into his empty fridge, again. He really needs to go grocery shopping but that takes so much effort. Since getting to his new apartment he’d only had the energy to setup his bed, find clean clothes for a few days, and order Chinese food. Today’s Herculean task was to get the TV setup and plug in the PlayStation. It would take less than five minutes and he knew playing an old game would be comforting so it was definitely going to happen today. Just… not right now.
It had been a rough month and he couldn’t avoid the awareness that he’d done this to himself. His life had been fine. Not great, but not bad either. It was just life. The kids were both doing well at college - Freddie a senior at RIT and making honor roll, Dan a sophomore at the University of Delaware figuring out which major was right for him. Things with Anne were alright. They were a good team, and on paper they were perfect. But the spark had been gone for a long time. They both knew it and neither knew how to talk about it.
So, instead of figuring out how to talk about it, Henry had an affair.
He knew it was wrong. He knew it wasn’t worth ruining his life for. But fuck, he’d felt so alive belonging to himself again. That didn’t make it right, and it didn’t ease the guilt, but it had been enough to keep him going back for more.
When Anne found out, the knowledge that he had hurt her had been harder to bear than the shame that burned in his stomach. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. He just didn’t know how to fix things, to bring them back to each other, and once he gave up on the idea he didn’t know how to tell her he needed more from life. She was his best friend. Still would be, maybe, if he’d figured out how to talk to her about this. Hell, they still had to work together to help Freddie and Dan figure out adulthood. Maybe if he’d found a way to create an amicable split, found a way to communicate that he still loved her, still saw her as family, they’d be able to navigate these changes together.
But she was devastated and he was ashamed. And he also had to own that he’d made a bad choice when he faced everyone they knew. It was hell, and it looked like it would never get better.
He’d cut ties with the other woman, it hadn’t been about her anyway. He’d started to realize over the last month that he had been looking for a way to be himself again. To feel wanted, seen, proud of himself. To feel like someone he would want to know. And that’s easiest engineered in lust - proving to yourself you’re everything you want to be because someone else wants you. But he’d eventually gleaned that the complicit affair partner is just looking for themself too, and the loop of using each other’s attention for validation inevitably gets interrupted and you’re back to square one.
Understanding all of this now had an ironic comfort to it. He understood now that he needed to work on being someone he was proud of, but that knowledge had come at an expensive price. He would likely still be in this apartment and figuring himself out, but maybe Anne would be someone he could call when things got hard.
He couldn’t let go of the shame, frustration, and disgust when he remembered everything he’d done in the last two years. All the while telling himself he knew what he was doing, when in reality he couldn’t have been more lost.
Alright. Enough. His therapist told him he needed to work on breaking out of these self loathing spirals. He couldn’t rebuild and apply what he’s learned if he’s only ever looking backwards. Dr. X said the first step in interrupting these thoughts is finding a small task to accomplish. So, maybe he could go grocery shopping. Not a huge list but maybe some cereal, a frozen pizza, a salad kit, and chips. He could do that. And his reward will be setting up the PlayStation and having pizza for dinner.
He grabbed his keys, slipped on his coat, and stepped out the door. He stopped short when he saw the envelope on the ground. It was unmarked. He opened it to find a child’s painting of a rainbow with mottled clouds on either side and a message underneath written in a clean script. It read, “Welcome to the neighborhood. We’re glad you’re here. We hope this new beginning is everything you want it to be. - Jenna and Emma, Apt 3-C”
